Momming in a Pandemic
Full disclosure. I don’t know how to mom in a pandemic. No one does. Its the wild wild west. But, I do know some things about self care and I know some things about balancing out the happy chemicals in our brains.
Here are some ideas for self care while you are attempting to do it all. First of all, your self talk is important. The narrative you are telling yourself is HUGE. If you are telling yourself “I will do this all perfectly” or “I’m a failure and I'm doing this terribly” both narratives are really unhelpful. One will lead to disappointment and burn out, and the other will perpetuate a self fulfilling prophecy that won’t feel good. If you can change your narrative to “This is a wild situation I have found myself in. I’m going to do my best and thats going to be enough” you will be setting yourself up to be able to move through this much easier.
Hack Your Dopamine (the reward chemical) -
Be aware and recognize your successes. We do this with kids to encourage them and make them feel good, why wouldnt the same work on us? Notice every time you do something you are proud of. Did you feel like you were going to flip out on your kids, but you didn’t and instead went to your room and screamed in a pillow? Be proud of that! Write that down! Celebrate it! Did you explain something in a way your kids understood? Celebrate that. Are you telling your child you love them? Are you taking care of yourself so that you can take care of them? Celebrate each thing you are doing. It will release some extra dopamine, and it will also help you realize what a fantastic job you are doing.
Do a self care activity. Just by doing a self care activity you are releasing some dopamine. Then write it down. DOUBLE DOPAMINE
Hack Your Serotonin (mood stabilizing chemical) -
Exercise - go for a walk/run, swim, bicycle, do something that gets your heart rate up and releases that sweet sweet Serotonin.
Meditate - everyone who meditates recommends it, and everyone who doesn't meditate hates to hear it, but meditating is so good for your mood and energy levels. As a mom, if you can spend the 10 minutes you might have used to escape childland by scrolling social media on meditating it is a game changer. It is refreshing, increases your patience, and releases that sweet sweet Serotonin. And all you have to do is keep bringing your attention back to something small and in the present, like the fact that you are breathing and what that feels like.
Nature - getting outside, getting some sun. It will help your kids and you. And if you can get outside AND meditate? Phew. Thats multitasking,
Hack Your Oxytocin (your love hormone) -
Play with something cute - maybe its a dog, a baby, a cat, anything super cute will release that love hormone. As a mom maybe that is taking a tv break with your kids and cuddling with them. Maybe its petting a cat or dog.
Hugging - Giving someone a hug releases those hormones, especially someone that you love. Give a good solid 10 second hug. You should let them know its going to be 10 seconds though, because 10 seconds feels like a really long time when you are receiving a long hug you weren't prepared for.
Give a compliment - giving someone else a compliment releases Oxytocin, and I’m sure makes the other person feel good. Give your kids several compliments. It will help them continue doing whatever you are complimenting them on (like “i love how kind you are to your sibling” or “thank you so much for cleaning up after yourself, you are so helpful”) and it will release that love chemical for you!
Hack Your Endorphin (pain killer chemical) -
Laugh - whether you are watching a comedy, or sharing a funny story with a friend, or even doing that exercise where you fake laugh until you laugh for real, laughing will release some endorphin into your system
Exercise - Maybe it’s yoga, or kickboxing, whatever your exercise of choice it will help you increase the endorphin in your system
Dark Chocolate - As if there wasn't enough reasons to eat chocolate. Dark chocolate actually helps you brain release endorphins in your brain.